There’s a reason we invented invitations: most parties are not public spectacles. We organize private events because there are certain specific people we would like to spend time with. Extra guests are socially intrusive. They bring plenty of practical issues with them as well. The event organizer has the number of attendees in mind when they buy drinks, make food and organize space. Unexpected guests disrupt such careful planning. While you can’t completely guarantee a party crasher will not show up, there’s plenty you can do to avoid them.
Using Social Media
Organizing events on social media is fraught with complications. If you are going to use Facebook, make sure the event is set to private. Public events can be seen by anyone, while private ones are only visible to invitees. You must do this when you create the event; it cannot be changed later.
Also, make sure the people you invite cannot invite others. People who see the opportunity might interpret it as an active invitation to bring along friends. If they want to bring an uninvited guest, they should always run it by you first.
Communicating with Guests
Letting guests know this is an invitation-only party will go a long way in avoiding the party crasher problem. They’re your friends. They don’t want to disrupt your event, but they need to know exactly what you do and don’t want.
It’s possible a friend will ask if they can invite someone you would rather not have present. If you’re going to be firm on the “no extras” rule, then feel free to use it. Just remember your friend is going to feel put out if you later allow someone else to bring a guest. If you may be allowing other exceptions, it’s best to simply be honest and tactfully explain why you don’t want that particular person present. Again, friends generally understand. We don’t all like the same people, and this is, after all, your event.
Dealing with a Party Crasher
Even with preparation, it’s possible a crasher will show up. How you deal with it depends on the reason you didn’t invite them in the first place. If they simply heard about the party and presumed anyone could attend, you can curtly correct them. If they were invited by one of your guests,on the other hand, apologize for the miscommunication concerning additional invitations. But the end of the conversation should always been the same: this is a private party, and you really can’t accommodate more guests.
The arrival of a party crasher is an awkward situation. Turning people away at the door may feel ungenerous, but you aren’t obligated to cater to everyone who shows up on your doorstep. Party crashers can upset the group dynamics as well as put a strain on food, drink and space considerations. Overcrowding is a detriment to every one of your invited guests, so do everyone a favor and keep the crashers out.
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